Day 4: Good Things In Store.

When you get hurt in your life, your natural tendency is to block out anything that makes you feel. You desensitize yourself so that you won't get hurt again.

I've been building walls for a while...to afraid that I'll feel like I felt before. But with this checklist comes a new me. A me that isn't afraid to put her heart on the line. 

First step: Do things that scare me.

One item on my checklist is to overcome a fear. So, I'm doing just that. There is a sort of club at my high school called REAL team, which has to do with staying drug and alcohol free. It involves speaking in front of people about the dangers of drugs and alcohol. I applied to be in it. I'm scared. I've always been intimidated by people in general, which is stupid. But I can't help it. I know what people are capable of. They're capable of scary things.

So, overcome my fear of people. That's what I'm doing.

I also signed up to be a sort of mentor for new sophomores next year. My mom thinks I'll be good at it. I'm not so sure.

Yet, I really need to start having more confidence in myself. I've let people push me around and make me feel totally worthless when in reality, I have so much to offer the world, and so many good things in store.

I have things to look forward to...I have a whole life ahead of me. It's an exciting thing. 

So, there you have it. That's where my mind has been today. But, I know it'll work out. 

If there's one thing in life that I've learned, it's that it not only goes on, but things tend to work out for the best...even if they aren't what I expected. It's strange, but I feel like God will steer me wherever I need to go. I just need to learn to be okay with that.

So, I'll leave you now, full of hope and comfort. It's a beautiful Wednesday and I feel as if it's a new beginning for me. The first day of May and the first day of the new and improved Devyn.