Bittersweet ends and glorious beginnings

Here it is. My last post for the one year checklist.
It's bittersweet--that this adventure is ending. High school, and this place. This beautiful place where I found myself. In so many ways, my heart aches. It aches for the friends and family that I'm saying goodbye to. It aches for the big brick building where I learned and grew into who I am right now. It aches for my job, with it's black and white tiled floors and neon-colored walls. It even aches for that beautiful and aggravating boy who I'm leaving behind-- the hipster with the snarky comebacks.
But mostly, it aches for the feeling of home that will no longer be there when we leave.
It's a new beginning, a clean slate, but it's hard to say goodbye to a place where i'm so rooted, where I'm so attached.
tomorrow I graduate from high school. It's the first day of the rest of my life and I'm terrified. There are times, now, that i wonder why I ever wanted to graduate early. It is only bringing me closer towards being an adult and making my own decisions. It's scary. I wonder almost everyday if I'm ready.
But I feel like it's time. It's time to face the unknown with courage and strength. It's time to realize that the future holds far better things than any I've left behind.
So, farewell. Don't worry...I will be blogging still. I'll be blogging about my new life in Georgia.
And it's going to be glorious. I just know it.

I'm BACK!

Boy, has it been forever. I can't even believe how much has happened since last May. But now, It's February, and the checklist is slowly winding to a close.
I still have a copy of the checklist somewhere...but I know that I've accomplished a lot. On the checklist and off the checklist.
I got a job. And I love it. Because of my job, I've also found a boy who I'm fairly certain I'm in love with. But that's a different story. My job keeps me grounded, it keeps me sane, and in it I find my second family.
check.
I have a car. Well, I had a car for a little while. Then my sister moved back in and we "share" it. When I say "share" I really mean that I occasionally use it. Yet, still, things have worked out good enough.
check.
I'm so near graduating early, I can almost feel it here. I keep imagining myself in one of those hideous graduation gowns, throwing my cap in the air and feeling an exhilaration so unlike anything I've ever felt before. This goal, of graduating early, inspired the whole checklist. And I'm so close now. In three months time, it will be done. And then, I think then, I'll be truly happy.
check.
I've eaten good food in the past several months. Very good food. The highlights? Teriyaki salmon, endless shrimp from Red lobster, and Menchies with my best friend. My waist may have expanded but at least I've had some of the most delicious flavors pass through my mouth and onto my tongue!
check!
I guess that I've been happy. Going through this journey, I've felt everything from utter disappointment, to complete happiness, to low and dangerous depression. I've shed tears of joy and tears of sadness and I've found so many reasons to be me, to be Devyn, in a world that is trying it's best to make me disappear. I just, I guess I've found the whole situation exasperating and exhuasting. I just don't have the energy to be anymore than myself.
In the end, the checklist still goes on, and I feel as if I've accomplished more than I ever thought I would. I've conquered demons inside of me and broken myself free and I feel fantastic. So, to all those who can't see me, Devyn, for who I am...I say this...
It's a pity, it really is. I could have lit up your world.

But I guess the fact that I wasn't given a chance gives me compassion for those around me to give everyone a chance. Because you never know who they are and how they can impact you!
I'll keep you posted. I'll try to get on more but who knows. Maybe the next time I post will be when I have a diploma in my hand and am finally done.