Boy, has it been forever. I can't even believe how much has happened since last May. But now, It's February, and the checklist is slowly winding to a close.
I still have a copy of the checklist somewhere...but I know that I've accomplished a lot. On the checklist and off the checklist.
I got a job. And I love it. Because of my job, I've also found a boy who I'm fairly certain I'm in love with. But that's a different story. My job keeps me grounded, it keeps me sane, and in it I find my second family.
check.
I have a car. Well, I had a car for a little while. Then my sister moved back in and we "share" it. When I say "share" I really mean that I occasionally use it. Yet, still, things have worked out good enough.
check.
I'm so near graduating early, I can almost feel it here. I keep imagining myself in one of those hideous graduation gowns, throwing my cap in the air and feeling an exhilaration so unlike anything I've ever felt before. This goal, of graduating early, inspired the whole checklist. And I'm so close now. In three months time, it will be done. And then, I think then, I'll be truly happy.
check.
I've eaten good food in the past several months. Very good food. The highlights? Teriyaki salmon, endless shrimp from Red lobster, and Menchies with my best friend. My waist may have expanded but at least I've had some of the most delicious flavors pass through my mouth and onto my tongue!
check!
I guess that I've been happy. Going through this journey, I've felt everything from utter disappointment, to complete happiness, to low and dangerous depression. I've shed tears of joy and tears of sadness and I've found so many reasons to be me, to be Devyn, in a world that is trying it's best to make me disappear. I just, I guess I've found the whole situation exasperating and exhuasting. I just don't have the energy to be anymore than myself.
In the end, the checklist still goes on, and I feel as if I've accomplished more than I ever thought I would. I've conquered demons inside of me and broken myself free and I feel fantastic. So, to all those who can't see me, Devyn, for who I am...I say this...
It's a pity, it really is. I could have lit up your world.
But I guess the fact that I wasn't given a chance gives me compassion for those around me to give everyone a chance. Because you never know who they are and how they can impact you!
I'll keep you posted. I'll try to get on more but who knows. Maybe the next time I post will be when I have a diploma in my hand and am finally done.
